January 5, 2003

seven years

I bet you took one look at that title and thought this was going to be about Heinrich Harrer being given the ICT Light of Truth award or maybe about Brad Pitt. Nope, it’s about neither. Christina and I said, “I do,” exactly seven years ago today. It’s pretty crazy, really. We knew since about eighth grade that we were going to one day wind up getting together. Our plan was to be in Australia — she would be driving around in her Jetta, me in my VW Bus — both of us being exactly as we are, together but independent. People usually drop their jaw when they hear that we have known each other since the second grade. Mine usually drops when I hear of people getting married who have only known each other for a couple of months and only as each other’s significant other.

The “seven year itch” thing is usually acquired by those who have no real idea about who they are involved with until it is too late. Then this notion that you have some sort of control over the other person sets in — you try to make them who you thought they were in the first place. By the seventh year you realize that you can’t control them and their is no point in trying.

Ours is one based on friendship, mutual trust, and laughter. We still make each other laugh out loud. We never fight over that someone at work that catches our eye — we just tease each other about it and in a few months the silly little “crush” you have on this other person goes away. I’m not saying we are perfect, but we are friends and we continue to treat each other as such. Most people won’t tell their best friend that they are jealous of their coworker because they are spending too much time with them, yet how many couples do this?

It drives me nuts when the same clothes are left on the floor for several days in a row or a stack of magazines stays exactly the same on the table for weeks on end. I make plenty of messes, but I try to reorganize them every few days. This is not a high priority on Christina’s list and we go around and around about it. Little things like that, but nothing marriage shattering. Jealousy has to be the number one cause of relationship death and it’s all so avoidable. The one thing I admire most about our time together is the certain lack of attachment about this superficial thing called “relationship”. If you don’t make a big deal about it, it’s not a big deal and staying together becomes pleasurable not some little monster you have to keep feeding.

Looking forward to seven more.

posted @ 9:50 AM

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