January 7, 2003

when the past catches up

When your ex-girlfriend shows up on your doorstep with her current boyfriend, things usually get pretty ugly. Especially when the boyfriend is eight years older than you, just shy of a Henry Rollins physic and has this look, no more like this stare. I must have passed the test because the three of us spent the day driving around Spokane — Him, Her, Me (”no boy-boy-girl shit”) crammed in the front seat of their car — went to the skate park downtown, up to the Northside to do some shopping, to a park in the Valley... It was a little odd, but really fun. I was happy for her and found a new friend.

Several months later I found myself living with them in a trailer with no heat and several other people. It was probably the coldest winter of my life and one of the strangest things (from the outside looking in). At the time it didn’t seem so weird. Christina was in basic training, I was homeless and He made me stay with them. Would not take, “no”. They were pregnant, but knew they couldn’t make that work. It was a tough decision but it was the right one to make. They haven’t been together for years. Her and I keep in touch. I haven’t talked to him since the day Christina and I left Montana.

There was always this underlying criminal/paranoia thing going on. Like taking magnets to grocery store benefits cards because, “that’s how they track you.” Or casing some store to see if their cash register was the kind that required a key. I always viewed this sort of stuff as some show and didn’t take it too seriously. Some punk rock machoism to let me know that he got the girl. But this. I never thought it would come to this.

posted @ 9:27 AM

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