July 25, 2003
walking the path
I will be 27 in October. When you are younger you think that you never want to be like your parents. You try everything you can to be the exact opposite of them. Which, in fact, is probably exactly what they did when they were your age and so you are being exactly like in doing so. Then as you get older you see that maybe they weren’t so bad or so wrong after all and notice — maybe even take pride in — being like them.
The other night my dad said he only needed three things:
- work done on his teeth
- new glasses
- a new pair of Tevas
Those things happen to be exactly the same things on my list. The problem with this is that when my dad was my age he wanted to move terribly. My mom did not. They divorced.
Christina and I have been back and forth on whether or not we should actually move to Vajrapani. We both play the optimist and the antagonist at various times, but we never seem to fully agree.
“Take it from the old man who’s walked the trail before — you both need to be on the same page. Once you are, I’ll support you no matter what you do.” I’m all too aware of this and it could be causing all of our trouble. When Christina says, “yes, lets move.” I have a hard time believing her and accepting that answer. I get the feeling she doesn’t really want to sometimes and I don’t want to walk the same path as my dad. What to do... what to do...
posted @ 8:41 AM
As it happens, I just turned 40 on Saturday. I can tell you, both as an old phart and as a Buddhist, that no matter how much you try to hold on to something, it’s going to do what it’s going to do. We control nothing. And remember, nothing stays the same: Life is change.
If she says she’s willing to move, take her at her word and love her all the more for it.
Thanks for your advice (and happy birthday!), Lori. Christina wasn’t into it. She didn’t want to move — by her own admission. She didn’t really mean it when she said she wanted to (we’ve know each other since 3rd grade, so I knew she wasn’t telling the complete truth). Then we had this epiphany Friday night where we both realized we wanted to move. I’ll probably do a whole post about that soon.
posted by tom on July 28, 2003 07:16 AM
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