December 9, 2003

getting knocked down

We repainted the office... it had been on the to-do list for quite some time — even before I came along. It really needed to be done because the walls were very dirty and grimy looking. The color, I guess, wasn’t so great either but it didn’t bother me that much. The walls were kind of a light yellow and the trim was maroon. It’s a Tibetan Buddhist retreat center, so those colors are to be expected. At least in my mind they are.

It was decided that the walls should be white and the trim should be this off-white peachy color (it’s got some fancy name which I can’t remember). They grey floor was also no good — had to go. Carpet was in order. That’s fine too.

I don’t, by any means, own the office. In three months I’ll be the only one working in it, but others will certainly use it. I thought it would be nice if I could have picked out some of the colors though, since I will be spending the majority of time there. It didn’t go down like that. The colors were decided upon by others. That’s not so bad, that’s life. The weird part of all of this is how attached I became.

Normally I let things go pretty easily. Even if they should really bother me — they don’t. Generally other people get upset for me. This time though, I took it personally. I got really frustrated, I spoke my opinion, then I pouted when it didn’t go my way. And I wound up getting sick because of it. My mind got very narrow, very focussed on the me, me, me of it all and I got a head cold.

I’m much better now — both about the colors of the office and my cold. Sometimes I think you really have to get knocked down to appreciate all the time you spend “up”.

posted @ 11:04 AM

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