zanwat. just a weblog.: kid karma

February 20, 2004

“Are you and Christina ever going to have kids?”

“Not for quite a while,” was my typical answer to this. I guess it’s been quite a while since anyone asked. We took the little EPT test yesterday and saw two lines (this means you’re pregnant).

It’s absolutely nutty. I’m all mixed up. Happy, nervous, scared, anxious, giddy. All these crazy, mostly opposite emotions — and I’m not even the pregnant one! I’ve always wanted to have a kid, or I should say I like the idea of having a child. It’s also a major pain in the ass having a dog sometimes and I always think how much more difficult it could be with a little human. Then there is the whole money thing. I’m not sure what I want to be when I grow up, but I know that I’d like to be able to provide a good home, good education, etc, etc to the little one. This is probably the most scary part of it. I’ve got between nine and seven months to figure all this out.

We live in the woods. Currently we don’t have hot water (let alone a shower or bath), an outhouse and a total of 230 square feet, a quarter of a mile from where we park our car. (230 square feet seems like plenty, I know. It’s two rooms measuring approximately 15 feet by 15 feet. It’s tiny.) Our refrigerator is a cooler. We have to haul in ice every day or two in order to keep our yogurt cold. It’s not the ideal place to raise a kid (to say the least).

The up-side is that we are very lucky to have conceived a child on Vajrapani land. It’s very blessed and this little one could be very special. Lama Yeshe is famous for saying, “why worry?” You can either do something to make the problem no longer be a problem or you can’t. Either way, no use getting upset or worried. So I’m really trying to take that advice. Besides, it was just one little test (and several days of vomiting). Could be wrong, could be something else. Or something could go wrong between now and then. You just never know.

posted @ 9:05 AM

comments

well, if it is true - congratulations. it definitely changes one’s life - and is a form of practice in itself

posted by mike on February 25, 2004 09:00 PM

congratulations! we found that nine months is just about enough to get used to the idea of having a baby. best of luck for you both.

posted by leen on March 2, 2004 01:43 AM

A little late but congratulations!

posted by Jason on March 3, 2004 10:22 AM

Thank you all so much! We’ve had a couple weeks to get a little more comfortable with the idea and are feeling pretty good about it now. Due date is October 19th. Unfortunately, it means we will probably be leaving Vajrapani. More on that in future posts though, I’m sure.

posted by tom on March 7, 2004 08:56 AM

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