March 27, 2005

attachment

As the amount of hard drive space has increased, so has my ability to fill it up. Now, many of the things I have on my computer are things I would have had on there six years ago if they would have fit. But they didn’t so I had them on various discs. I mostly have everything I want quick access to (like the entire collection of ACIP data, several Tibetan language dictionaries, teachings, many pictures and mini-movies). But I wonder if some of this stuff isn’t just like have a huge collection of DVDs or books or physical stuff of any sort. A huge collection of anything. Excess, ya know.

What is it about us that always wants just a little bit more than we have? A slightly bigger this, a little newer that, more comfortable thingies. A better program, more hard drive space, quicker internet connection. It goes on and on, all day long. It can make you little crazy if you listen to it.

It’s 10 o’clock and my body is yelling for an apple and slice of cheese. I eat that every day at this time. But since I’m home today maybe I’ll have a little more. Maybe a cookie and some of that really great fruit candy we just got from Seattle. Oh, and juice... more, more, more I drone on, endlessly.

It’s all attachment to this life. Grasping at this life.

tse di la shey na chu pa min

You’re no spiritual practitioner if you’re attached to this life.

That line is one of the only lines of text I’ve bothered to memorize. It the first of The Four Attachments. I thought I would really try to understand this one before I moved on to the next line. That was about a two years ago. I’m still trying to understand it.

I can understand why it might take someone untrained in the concept of letting go fifteen years or more to let go of their daughter. I can see why you always want to the story to end good. But that doesn’t happen with this life. Candy and cookies make me sick when I have to many. Death is what happens to all of us. But a human life is the most precious. Maybe the next life won’t be so great. Maybe we’ll go to heaven, maybe hell, maybe somewhere else.

I’ve always thought death was more difficult for the living than the ones who pass on. People still celebrate the lives of those from thousands of years ago. Maybe thinking that we wish this person where here now, to help lead and guide. Maybe still sad for his mother. But I usually don’t feel sad for the dead.

posted @ 10:34 AM

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