July 4, 2008

maybe i’m just not cool enough

First of all MySpace is owned by Rupert Murdoch. That should be enough, but I’ve got more reasons for not liking it. Everything flashes and or makes noise and I (as a viewer of sites) cannot change this fact. I go to your MySpace site and you think it’s really cool to have K-Fed blasting upon my arrival. I don’t. Maybe I’m listening to something on my iTunes. Now I can’t hear either thing. I’ve got a garbled mess of audio and I can’t find where you put the player. Plus I’m distracted by flashing ads. One is telling me that I should not do meth. Not even once. The other ad is telling me I should join the Bud Light Party Cruise. Or maybe I should “pimp my profile” or at least add some “bling” to my profile with MySpace Apps. Whatever.

Okay, so let’s just say that I can (which I can’t, but I’ll try to) look past all the dumb flashing ads and instant music which isn’t always easily turned off. I’ve built many a website — this one here being no exception — and I’m pretty okay with HTML code. Can’t for the life of me figure out the MySpace interface tools. They don’t make any sense at all. Hence all the ads for pimpin’ and blingin’ your site. They know you can’t figure that shit out on your own. You’re gonna need help or you’ll turn to meth and or alcohol.

Most of my real world friends are on MySpace. I can barely find them on there though. I understand that pervs could look for young girls and boys and that making a people search a little more difficult isn’t a bad thing. I’m okay with this, but I can’t find my cousin based on a search with his name and location. A search he told me to perform using his exact name and location. Not a short version of his name or some nickname or whatever. He said, look for me on MySpace using these certain parameters, and I can’t find him. Dumb.

If I do finally find someone I have to make them a friend before I can do anything meaningful like... well, I don’t know. I’ve never really gotten that far because I don’t know what the point is. If you’re my friend does that mean you can post some stupid quote on the “comments” portion of my site? Oh great! Just what I want — some non-contextual reference to Star Wars with your flashing avatar! Seriously. What is this about? Commentator A: “Hey Def Leopard rocks! I saw them live once.” Commentator B: “Check out the new season of Weeds. 4:20! HAHAHA!!!” How do these things relate? Why are they there. Why is the whole page filled with nonsensical comments that have nothing to do with each other? WTF?!?

It’s got a horrible interface, it’s poorly designed, it’s corporate as hell, it’s a bad, bad thing. How did it take such a strong hold on our society? Why does it still exist?

posted @ 5:41 AM

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