September 29, 2002

my team beats my team

Last year I was a West Ham United fan. Mainly because their goalkeeper, David James, was—and still is—amazing. In fact, he was England’s keeper during the World Cup. Anyway, this year I decided that I was tired of supporting the last place team again. I found a team a little closer to my step dad’s former home of Cheswick, London; Chelsea. Well, a funny thing happened this weekend. The only game West Ham has won this year.

posted @ 9:55 PM

September 24, 2002

a new os

I’ve upgraded to Mac OS X (10.1.5, to be exact). In the words of MacAddict, it is freakin’ awesome. I know, I know… you’re saying to yourself, “isn’t 10.2 out now?” Why yes, yes it is. However, I am not one to jump at the first operating system release (it took me a year to get where I am now). Give it some time and I may be one of the many raving about Jaguar. As it stands I’m pretty darn happy with what I’ve got.

posted @ 7:14 PM

September 18, 2002

nextblog

Lately I’ve been coming home and relaxing in front of the computer by checking out some new and different weblogs thanks to Blogger’s NextBlog. It’s a cool little utility that allows you to check out a random weblog (hosted on Blogger, of course). Some are good, some aren’t… such is the nature of the web.

posted @ 9:56 PM

September 15, 2002

back to school

The recent “difficulties” at work have prompted me to rethink my current job description and remember that it is not the title I thought I would have at this time in my life. I’m creeping up twenty-six and still have not gone to school.

My birthday is on October 5th each and every year since 1976. This year that date happens to fall on the same day that my former high school teacher is putting together a Viable Vision reunion. I think this opportunity of reflection with an amazing teacher will remind me of my true calling—that and the fact that my sister doesn’t know who Nirvana is, nor understands what nirvana is.

posted @ 7:10 PM

September 14, 2002

samsara of practice

Suffering makes for good Buddhist practice (or any spiritual path, for that matter). Then you start to feel better and things start to work out a little bit like you’d hoped they would. There is still a certain degree of suffering that happens, but your attitude towards it is better adjusted to cope with the situation. Maybe you don’t, but I get comfortable in this “new mode” and let myself slip a little. I get back to my old ways and eventually I’m not sitting in the mornings, not listening to teachings and doing a lot of things I thought I had given up. Start to find a lot of attitudes I thought I had left behind creeping up and invading my mind.

At this point I usually remember why I started in the first place because I’m feeling very much like I did when I started. I hope for that rush that I got the first time I heard the Diamond Cutter Sutra. This seems to work the first few weeks and I get pretty comfortable in my practice—the samsara of spiritual progress. Around the wheel we go again.

posted @ 7:58 PM

September 13, 2002

montana making headlines

Yup. Here we are yet again.

posted @ 6:13 PM

September 11, 2002

one year ago

On the morning of September 11, 2001 (5:45 AM MDT) I was sitting on my meditation cushion thinking about the interconnectedness of people. I remember the conversation I was having with myself that morning because I felt quite good when the day began.

At work I was sitting next to an older gentleman who loves old radio shows and they call him ‘Taiwan Bill’ because of his time spent there teaching English as a second language. Most think Bill is a little “off” and he has this appearance. Sort of transient-like and resembling Allen Ginsberg in both looks and mannerisms. I remember being intrigued by him on my first day because of all of that. I thought, “this looks like a man who needs somebody to be his friend and I’d really like to get to know him better.” Turns out he’s originally from Boston and was overseas while in the Air Force. He has a mind like a razor.

We were both prompt at getting to our desks and situated that morning. In fact, Bill arrives an hour early every day. He really enjoys his job and after struggling at first he has become a very valuable employee. Bill began rattling off details about a plane that had crashed in the Empire State building. He knew the exact date it happened, who was flying the plane and the circumstances surrounding the whole situation. Fifteen minutes later CNN finally made mention of the fact.

Just recently or maybe it was even later that day when we finally got a chance to talk, we talked about religion. Bill stated that he was an Episcopalian Buddhist. I was raised in the Episcopal church. I very much considered myself a Buddhist.

The room we were in was usually very noisy. Around 100-200 people talk on the phone all day long. We are separated by cubicles but that can only stop so much. On that day it was quiet. Even those on the phone talked with a softness in there voice. Very subdued. It was strikingly clear how connected everyone in the entire world is. The proverbial butterfly in China really flapped its wings that day.

posted @ 9:32 AM

September 8, 2002

added content

Two movies have been added to the mandala section of the site. They are still photos put together over the course of several days with some music added in the background. The photos are from the University of Colorado. I was going to wait to make sure this was okay with them first, but I haven’t done that yet and I’m pretty excited about the movie. Hopefully they (and you) will forgive me.

posted @ 7:11 PM

September 6, 2002

the beats

I went through this new-school-swing-jazz phase briefly while we lived in Santa Maria, CA. At the time we made frequent trips up to San Francisco. The movie Swingers had just come out and there was a magazine I found appealing, that you could only find in San Francisco - and even then with some difficulty. It was all the rage and I got swept up in it. For a few months I’d listen to Dean Martin while making dinner in my work pants and white T-shirt, glass of wine in one hand, wooden spoon stirring pasta in the other. Living the fantasy.

I was also getting back to “my roots”-which sounds incredibly stupid, but is the truth. I played saxophone in “regular” band and also in jazz band from sixth grade until eighth grade. Some of the songs that were becoming popular (again for the third time) I had played in band. Real jazz, not that watered down elevator music.

My mom used to listen to this smooth jazz station when she cleaned on Saturday mornings. I made fun of her for it. It was so bland. I really couldn’t believe that they were calling it jazz. No piano, no saxophone, no drums using the wispy deals (for lack of proper drummer term), just synthetic sounding keyboards with plastic sounding keyboard drums and cheesy vocals over the top. She swore up and down that it was “real” jazz, but she was mistaken.

I have also been tuning into iTunes radio stations. I tried out the Berlin station, but found Dr. Horner’s Classic Jazz Corner to be the one that stays on the longest. It’s great comfort music for those nights when you’re home all alone and there is no good TV on. Plus I’ve done a startling amount of writing while listening. Kids these days with their loud music… who needs it?

posted @ 12:19 PM

September 2, 2002

internet time

The simple elegance of posting not the actual time, but a how long ago it was posted should be used by everyone. Alas, I’ve only found it on one and the major blogging contenders do not support that method of dating. Too bad because it makes perfect sense for the internet. Dean is in France and I’m in Montana. If he was using actual time it would seem like he’s posting something the next day. And I’m sure people reading my site in other parts of the world would experience this to. Makes me wonder why more people haven’t adopted this model, since .beats never made a smashing success.

posted @ 11:02 PM

September 1, 2002

archives

Since I can’t seem to find what I thought was two, but now realize is three months of archives, I’m just going to put the last several months worth up on the site. The writing style and frequency has improved markedly since crossing the one year mark (I no longer type with my toes). What I’m getting at here is that you’ll have to deal with not seeing the first year’s worth of posts. Complaints? I didn’t think so.

posted @ 10:11 PM

can we speed this up?

The insistence that technology must never fail, but when it does it must be fixed NOW continually perplexes me. It wasn1t until the 19801s that FedEx began shipping packages overnight. Now if you don1t offer that service as the first and only option then you are somehow not satisfying the customer. Twenty years later and it1s expected that things happen instantly. From coffee to information—the general populace demands turn around times of two minutes or less. I1m not being overly critical of those who are trapped by this philosophy, as sometimes I find myself caught up in it too. I wish that taking a step back and doing some self examination was emphasized more in our culture. The internet is great, but if a site goes down or you can1t connect then go outside and watch the clouds. I spent hours as kid doing that and still vividly remember some formations. Just because you can1t get online, it doesn1t mean the world is ending.

posted @ 1:26 PM