July 29, 2003
betting on our safety
How utterly disgusting that we [well, I do... maybe you don’t] live in a country that seriously considered accepting bets on future terrorist attacks and political developments. I refer you to my previous post.
posted @ 9:55 AM
July 28, 2003
same page
My feelings were correct. Christina didn’t want to move. We’ve known each other much too long to hide anything like that. It became quite ugly at one point — both of us yelling at each other. On Friday we were both just exhausted with the whole situation. Neither of us could decide what we wanted to do and nothing we were saying to each other, friends, and family was helping. We decided to forget about the whole thing and go over to a friends house. This friend — we’ll call him “T” for simplicity sake — had a friend over whom we’ll call Joe. We’d never met Joe. “Unbiased Arbitrator” we both thought. He had just moved here from MN and didn’t have a job. Some may say that he was the wrong person to ask — we thought he was perfect. “Do what you want to do,” was his simple advice. Hmmm... still had a dilemma on our hands.
Over the course of the evening we were reminded of just what it will be like here, in the beautiful Flathead Valley — which will turn to an absolute dark-frozen-hell-on-earth in several months. We were reminded just how hard it is to find a job here. (Joe happens to be a communications guy also and I could feel the frustration mounting in me just listening to him talk about the difference between what he wanted to do and what was practical to do.)
Christina must have felt some of this too because as soon as we dropped them off and pointed the car towards home she said, “I think we should move.”
“I agree 100%.”
“So we’re decided then?”
“Yes.”
When we got home we gave each other a big hug and we both felt the weight lifted off our shoulders. It’s good to be on the same page, but it can’t be forced. It’s got to be right, and finally it is.
posted @ 5:14 PM
July 25, 2003
walking the path
I will be 27 in October. When you are younger you think that you never want to be like your parents. You try everything you can to be the exact opposite of them. Which, in fact, is probably exactly what they did when they were your age and so you are being exactly like in doing so. Then as you get older you see that maybe they weren’t so bad or so wrong after all and notice — maybe even take pride in — being like them.
The other night my dad said he only needed three things:
- work done on his teeth
- new glasses
- a new pair of Tevas
Those things happen to be exactly the same things on my list. The problem with this is that when my dad was my age he wanted to move terribly. My mom did not. They divorced.
Christina and I have been back and forth on whether or not we should actually move to Vajrapani. We both play the optimist and the antagonist at various times, but we never seem to fully agree.
“Take it from the old man who’s walked the trail before — you both need to be on the same page. Once you are, I’ll support you no matter what you do.” I’m all too aware of this and it could be causing all of our trouble. When Christina says, “yes, lets move.” I have a hard time believing her and accepting that answer. I get the feeling she doesn’t really want to sometimes and I don’t want to walk the same path as my dad. What to do... what to do...
posted @ 8:41 AM
July 22, 2003
politicians are products
This quote arrived in my inbox today from Snow Lion. Seems appropriate, which is probably why they sent it:
“In defense of politicians, they are necessarily the products of a society. If it is a society that thinks only of money and power, without any concern for moral values, we should not be surprised if politicians are corrupt, and should not therefore consider that the responsibility for such a situation lies entirely with them.”
-- His Holiness the Dalai Lama
posted @ 3:54 PM
July 21, 2003
2370 miles and 47 wal-mart trucks
We had a few setbacks at the get-go. Our credit card (which has around $500 of available credit) was denied at two separate gas stations. Our debit card from the bank was eaten by an ATM and our bank, when I called, informed me that they didn’t show us having a card issued by them. This was quite a surprise because the card had our name on it. Anyway, my mom loaned us enough to make the trip and our other bank card still worked.
We made it to Vajrapani right on time for the interview. We were greeted by one of the staff and she wanted to meet the dog and make sure he walked around the stupa (which was amazing, by the way!). Had an excellent lunch while we did the interview, toured the facilities and took the dog down to the creek to cool off. Their was a puja and a staff meeting after the interview where everyone probably talked about us and the upcoming events. It was decided that we would fit in quite nicely and I was offered the position. Everyone was amazing and I think we will really like it their, although it will call for some pretty heavy duty lifestyle changes.
Now it’s all about packing and getting ready.
posted @ 1:37 PM
July 15, 2003
off to the inteview
Random bits of Counting Crows songs are running through my head today. All in anticipation of our journey to Vajrapani...
it’s been so long since I’ve seen the ocean...
if you think that you might come to California, I think you should...
posted @ 1:21 PM
dances with wolves
I watched Dances With Wolves the other night. I’ve seen it a few times before, but it was good to watch again. The book is still occupying my mind, but not much in the way of writing is getting done. With the recent distractions (interview with Vajrapani, possible move to CA and current job going away), I’ve put the whole thing on hold. The union of Kevin Costner and the native people is a little bit how I picture the union of the characters in my book to play out. A peaceful, respectful interaction after some false starts and curiosity.
posted @ 7:51 AM
July 8, 2003
pink slips
I watched it happen with my dad’s business. Two years later I watched it happen with the radio station where I worked. Then two years after that the snowboarding company I worked for disintegrated beneath our feet. I have a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to businesses failing and I felt it with my current job. Part of the reason for wanting to get out so badly was because part of me knew that the end was near. Not for the company, as they are still intact, but our particular site has been in jeopardy for some time. It’s the stingy attitude syndrome. Financial woes? Pull benefits. Number crunching not working anymore? Pull stock options, find a new health care provider. The karmic result of stingy thinking is lack of money.
Oh, in case you haven’t guessed, myself and 600 of my fellow employees were given notice that in 60 days we will not have a job. I’m not allowed to say more and I don’t want to jeopardize my final weeks or days with the company (however, my guess is that if you know of Kalispell, MT and can name three major employers here — chances are good I work for one of them).
posted @ 1:39 PM
July 1, 2003
controlling karma pt 2
As documented over the last few weeks, work has not been treating me kindly. I have a schedule I don’t like much and a job which isn’t really my idea of fun. ‘Course, in the words of Red Forman, “If it wasn’t ‘work,’ they wouldn’t call it work. They’d call it ‘super-wonderful, crazy-fun time!’ Or ‘Skippedydoo!’”
Anyway, “super-wonderful, crazy-fun time” just got a little closer. Last Friday my boss asked if I’d like to change my schedule. She didn’t have to twist my arm too much. Then Sunday, after getting burnt to crisp at the lake, I had a message from Vajrapani saying that the person we all thought they hired wasn’t going to work out and they were wondering if I was still interested. I did a little phone interview today (which went spectacularly) and setup a face to face interview for July 18th. It’s looking pretty good, but I’m trying not to get too excited just yet.
posted @ 4:28 PM